Half glances and silent arguments.
That’s what we need.
I know you better than you think
I know you enough to understand
That it’s never about me.
Shh. Quiet now. Listen.
That’s the sound of silence.
And oh, look now.
This is the sight of me walking away
Don’t ever ask me what I want
Cause dreams never come true
Not for me, anyway.
Oh, this is a crazy waltz we’re doing.
Crazy indeed.
My crystal’s clouded.
The future is furlongs
Far, far, far off.
And I’m no coward to say
“I’ve got nothing.”
So leave me alone
Fuck, fuck, fuck off
Sometimes, I wonder why
I mutilated my heart
And served it to you
On that silver platter
Hah hah hah.
I still can’t believe you
Had the nerve to ask
“What’s the matter?”
Shh. Quiet now. Listen.
That’s the sound of silence.
And oh, look now.
This is the sight of me walking away
Don’t ever ask me what I want
Cause dreams never come true
Not for me, anyway.
Oh, this is a crazy waltz we’re doing.
Crazy indeed.
Really, I’m okay.
Just don’t try
And change me anymore
I swear I won’t take it
I’ve got this settle to score
You said I wouldn’t last.
You said I never changed.
And I couldn’t love you?
Fuck that. Fuck that.
Half glances and silent arguments.
That’s what we need.
I know you better than you think
I know you enough to understand
That it’s never about me.
Darling, I’m waiting for you
To figure this out.
I love you completely.
Do I have to scream and shout?
I want you
I want you
I want you
Shh. Quiet now. Listen.
That’s the sound of silence.
And oh, look now.
This is the sight of me walking away
Don’t ever ask me what I want
Cause dreams never come true
Not for me, anyway.
I carried it around for days and days
Smiling about the image it held
Turned out my pockets, turns out I’d lost it.
You have to be careful with your belongings
‘Cause they might just grow legs and walk away
that Happy memory you kept to yourself
Give me some closure
Erase my memory
For I miss that photograph
I held so dear to me
Don’t, don’t let it walk away
Why did it leave?
Give me some closure.
Please make this easier.
Photography, as we all know, is very controversial
Offensive to you; pleasing is it not?
Well maybe it just doesn’t work well.
Maybe things just wouldn’t work out
Maybe this was just a silly little rehearsal
For this heartbreak. May I even call it that?
Days and days I carried that photograph
And not once could I remember
The descriptive details, the brilliant colors
I could only tell you how happy it made me
To feel like I was yours.
Give me some closure
Erase my memory
For I miss that photograph
I held so dear to me
Don’t, don’t let it walk away
Why did it leave?
Give me some closure.
Please make this easier.
And now all these remaining Polaroids
Won’t fill that hole in my pocket
Dull, weak, forced
I’ll have to be careful with my belongings
‘Cause they might just grow legs and walk away
that Happy memory I kept to myself
Wasn’t ever meant to stay
Give me some closure
Erase my memory
For I miss that photograph
I held so dear to me
Dear Daughter
Today’s your sixteenth birthday
And I wanted to wish you well
Because there’s nothing else I can really say
I can see you with the wind in your hair
Driving with that new license of yours
And I know you think adulthood is scary
But I think you’ll make it ashore.
I know your mother raised you well
And I know that you have a tendency to rise above your past
But even that being so,
I hope your grudge against me can’t last
I’m sorry I couldn’t see you off
Your beautiful crooked grin cast towards me…
Maybe in time
Maybe when you’re older than sixteen
Dear Daughter
Today’s your sixteenth birthday
And I wanted to tell you I love you
Because I can’t keep the guilt away
I know you’ll still hold this against me
But maybe one day you’ll find some mercy
And I can see you cursing my selfishness
I now think I maybe hurt you in the worst way.
I know you’re a beautiful young woman
And I have no doubt you’re well on your way
But please don’t forget the speed bumps, dear daughter
Watch your step and be careful,
There’s bad people out there that’ll drink you like water
And I’m sorry I couldn’t see you off
Your beautiful crooked grin cast towards me…
Maybe in time
Maybe when you’re older than sixteen
Dear Daughter, Dear Daughter.
Today is your sixteenth birthday…
Dear Daughter of mine.
Clawing, scraping
Take away these monsters
These memories roar
Harsh green eyes
That look so real from under the glass
I’m stuck here, staring
Was it you who called:
“Get off your ass!”
I’m petrified. Yell louder.
YELL LOUDER
For my sake, yell louder
Where’s this glass floor?
I swear I was standing a moment ago.
Falling, falling only to land closer
Am I alive? I don’t know.
Memories begin to feast on my skin
And I just lay there
Because this feels like snow
Stairs awhile away
But oh the teeth, the snarls
I’ll wait here
If I move, they’ll surely catch me
Was it you who called:
“Get off your ass!”
I’m petrified.
YELL LOUDER
For my sake, yell louder
I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.
Maybe I hear you. Maybe I’m trying to hear you.
YELL LOUDER. YELL FUCKING LOUDER.
Where’s this glass floor?
I swear I was standing a moment ago.
Falling, falling only to land closer
Am I alive? I don’t know.
Memories begin to feast on my skin
And I just lay there
Because this feels like snow
Not long enough:
I’ll be okay. Promise.
I’ll act like this never was.
These earphones won’t...
Drown out the feelings…
I can’t define.
What was it exactly?
I can’t really remember.
Define these lines.
It’s the loneliness
I can’t escape
It’s those memories
Of those precious times
I can’t face.
Losing leaves a bitter taste
[I can’t escape]
Is effort just a waste?
[I can’t face]
Take me away from this place.
It’s the loneliness
I can’t escape
It’s those memories
Of those precious times
I can’t face.
Was it long enough?
Time flies away.
Good-bye. Good-bye. Good-bye.
I won’t be okay. Sorry.
Get better? It never does.
The power to break you
Granted by your own mind
Allow me to hurt you
Cause I know what’s best
Look for things we all
Know you can’t find
I could ruin you easily
Would that be wrong of me?
I try my best; no reason at all
Sit in your little hole
Eating crumbs, as I watch
Offering a hand as
I watch you fall.
Further, further…down.
I’m calloused you say?
True. It’s how I survive.
You can’t lay down forever.
You have to get up and fight.
You’re at a crossroads
So get up and choose.
You can trust me…or lose.
I try my best; no reason at all
Sitting in your little hole
Eating crumbs, as I watch
[I can’t feed you any longer, I can’t feed you]
Offering a hand as
I watch you fall.
Further, further...down.
Funny. Simple words hurt.
Power to change, or break.
You have to choose.
You can take my hand.
Or you can hate me.
You can trust me… or lose
Just another day
the silent beast stays home alone
staring at a wall
waiting for the phone.
Why answer when it'll say
nothing you want to hear?
And all you can do is pray
for further absence from the fear.
And this is just another day
you don't wanna live.
And this is just another problem
you don't wanna deal with.
Forgive and forget
because it's all you can do.
Remember and regret
see what you've been through.
Whose fault is this? Whose fault is this?
Just another lie we're living;
fake smiles flash away.
Nobody really cares
if you go or stay.
Why bother asking
if you'll get the same answer?
And all you can do is beg,
because this secret is like cancer.
And this is just another lie,
that they wanna keep.
And this is just another heart
dying, so weak.
Forgive and forget
because it's all you can do.
Remember and regret
see what you've been through.
Whose fault is this? Whose fault is this?
Forgive and forget
because it's all you can do.
Remember and regret
see what you've been through.
Whose fault is this? Whose fault is this?
So pick up the phone
and listen to the poison
that makes your heart moan
and take it willingly
because it's all you'll ever get.
It’s another awkward moment
What do you want me to say?
I’m acting out with feelings
I don’t really want to be this way
I’m not a pretty girl
I look terrible on the outside
And it doesn’t get any better inward
So save yourself and go away
Damaged goods, maybe you could say
I lie to myself; I lie to you
Who could ever want this?
Love makes fools
Infatuating themselves with thoughts
Of impossible situations
What do you want me to say?
I’m not who you think I am
You’re stupid for thinking I was
I’m trash. I’m undeserving
My dad got ten years; my mom got nothing
My face has two sides, I stutter when I speak
I hear that you love me
And my knees go weak
How can you want something so awful?
I’m nothing. I’m in too deep.
Take a step back
PLEASE DON’T FIX ME
I say to myself; I say to you
Who could ever want this?
Life makes tools
Out of stupid human beings
Offering themselves blindly
What do you want me to say?
I’m not who you think I am
You’re stupid for thinking I was.
Cold jail cells imprison my soul
Cause this life I have
Is the only one I’ve ever known
My eyes are lifeless
Yet there’s so many things I wish to say
What do you want?
Is there another way?
I pay for the crime
(He hates me, he hates me,
Oh he hates me)
Whether it be yours or mine
And I can’t tell you what I did
For not even I know
Because this sin
Is one I secretly hold
Bind my wrists
And blind my eyes
For I don’t want to see
And stand right here and
Tell me what I need
My eyes are wandering
Along an endless plain
And I’m looking, looking, searching
For that special something
All in vain… so
Bind my wrists
And blind my eyes
For I don’t want to see
And stand right here and
Tell me what I need
BIND MY WRISTS
AND BLIND MY EYES
For I don’t want to see
And stand right here and
Tell me what I need
Whisper gently through this wall
I need to hear you
I need to hear you
Before I lose it all
There’s this shadow I see
It dances, whimsical, people pulling at its strings
Trodded, trampled; a little off-scene
I see this shadow
The shadow sees me
This shadow lives within me
The thickest of black hears
Your thickest of venom
And it wants to scream
When last week, it wanted in your denim
And it struts behind you,
Glorifying your short appearance
And you glare at it
And curse it for its stupid interference
But wasn’t it that shadow
That stayed by your side
You sit on the cold pavement
Wiping your eyes
And it smiled back at you from the rocky cement
But you don’t say, “I’ll give it one more try”
AND TURN AWAY [from that shadow]
The thickest of black
Falls into the thickest of blue
Those globs of paint
You’re hurling at your shadow
Why blame the shadow?
You’re life’s so taint.
The shadow sees me
I see the shadow.
The shadow lives within me.
But wasn’t it the shadow
That stayed by your side
You sit on the cold pavement
Wiping your eyes
And it smiled back at you from the rocky cement
But you don’t say, “I’ll give it one more try.”
AND TURN AWAY [from that shadow]
I’m listening to every word you say
And I’m believing it
But I knew first
That things go from bad to worse
You’re lying to me
And I’m believing it
I’m feeding on your words
And living by them through all this shit
And you’re telling me everything I want to hear
Oh… everything I want to hear
And all the broken promises flood my mind
As I day dream about the lies you’ve told me
I can’t stop
Thinking it’s you I see
Get out of my head
You’re lying to me (You’re lying to me)
And I’m believing it
I’m feeding on your words
And living by them though all this shit
And you’re telling me everything I want to hear
Oh… Everything I want to hear
And did I find out
Not only everything I didn’t want to hear
But that you lied to me as the easy way out
And I’m not only mad
But I don’t ever want to speak to you again
You lied to me
And now I won’t trust you
Because I fed on your words
And I put faith in you
But you told me everything I wanted to hear
Everything I wanted to hear
And I remember
When you were lying to me
And I was believing it
I was feeding off your words
And living by them through all that shit
And you told me everything I wanted to hear
Oh… everything I wanted to hear
Scare me
For thorns of anxiety
Puncture within
And show me
How sugar of the lips
Can crawl beneath my skin
And it’s undeniable
How embedded feelings are
Just take me away
From this place
And take back
Last yesterdays
See me
In the gloom of reality
Of this world
And surround me
Of strange feelings
That I can’t seem to unfurl
It’s cold in this crowd without you
I need you beside me to make me fit in
Take back, take back
Those last yesterdays. Those last yesterdays.
And it’s undeniable
How embedded feelings are
Just take me away
From this place
And take back
Last yesterdays.
Surprise me
In this dark light
That I can’t see through
And seclude me
Among all these people
Who strike an unresembling pose
And it’s undeniable
How embedded feelings are
Just take me away
From this place
And take back
Last yesterdays
There’s an awkward silence that drifts between us
and it kills my voice to the point
I don’t want to talk to you
My skin freezes at the mere thought
It’s your name I would cough
Blood, dripping from my lips.
I hate who you’ve become
Yet I can’t seem to refuse
This sin you offer me
Maybe it’s only jealousy that pries me
Open to loving you
And I’m blind to the fact
You’re rotting out my insides
There’s an awkward silence that drifts between us
and it kills my voice to the point
I don’t want to talk to you
My skin freezes at the mere thought
It’s your name I would cough
Blood, dripping from my lips.
There’s so many lies
That cover up who you really are
And you make it a habit
Of taking things way too far
But I want to be there
To save you, to save you
There’s an awkward silence that drifts between us
and it kills my voice to the point
I don’t want to talk to you
My skin freezes at the mere thought
It’s your name I would cough
Blood, dripping from my lips.
We need to talk about
What the hell we’re doing here
I know I’m dying
How are you doing?
You seem so fine
As I lay in ruins
I can’t stay this way
I know I’m dying
I know I’m dying
But I want to live
And make one last chance
>This gift you bought me
Only shows how much
You really can’t see
Did you really think your vial
Of love would save you?
Is it a symbol of your
Dog tags, a fallen soldier’s
Death not so sad
Does it make you feel
Better to quell your envy?
While the rest of us
Drown in sick reality
>Green is the color of greed
It’s the color of paper you
Tucked in that tramp’s skirt
And you write your damn love letters,
Saying “I hope you aren’t hurt.”
Green is the color of your eyes
You tall monster
And it’s the color that
Tells me you like her
>This stone that I now have
Resembles your hard heart
And it’s color of green
Resembles how you tore me apart
A strong stallion once
Injected with sedative
Blood running cold in last seconds
But that’s all relative
>Green is the color of greed
It’s the color of paper you
Tucked in that tramp’s skirt
And you write your damn love letters,
Saying “I hope you aren’t hurt.”
Green is the color of your eyes
You tall monster
And it’s the color that
Tells me you like her
>Slice your fucking sanity
With glinting silver shapes
And watch the heavens
Part to glare as you descend
To hell in shame’s dark cape